


In Which the Doctor Learns to Correctly Label His Fungi

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Community: eleventy_kink, F/M, Het and Slash, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-03
Updated: 2010-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-12 09:59:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor made a bit of a mistake while making one of his famous omelets. Seems he chose the wrong mushrooms....</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which the Doctor Learns to Correctly Label His Fungi

The mushrooms, the Doctor reflected, had been a bad idea. This body wasn't the best at identifying fungi apparently, because what he had taken for Brottlonian shrivel caps were in fact Brottlonian five gills. The two types of mushrooms tasted identical, more or less. Apart from the fact that the five gills was often used to make one of the most potent aphrodisiacs for bipedal monovascular species. In the fifty first century, the Brottlonian government jumpstarted their whole economy with them, although there was a civil war soon after over growers rights, but that wasn't pertinent to the situation at present.

The Doctor had been late getting to the table, and by the time he taken a bite out of his mushroom omelet, Amy and Rory had all but finished theirs. Of course, as soon as the mushroom hit his stomach and his body sent out the first warning signs, he spat it out, but by then it was too late. Amy and Rory had already eaten theirs, no doubt famished from their day of talking the four armed Aif out of roasting them to please the giant Fish god (well, not a fish, technically, but that was neither here nor there).

"Oi, that's rude," Amy said. She was shifting in her seat, and now that his mind wasn't focused completely on his empty stomach, he could smell her pheromones, thick and sweet and sticky.

"Sorry." He debated telling them, even as he watched Rory bite his lip, his face heating up. "So… you two like the omelet?"

"Yeah," Rory said, but his eyes were on Amy, who was drinking a glass of water like her life depended on it. Water was leaking out of the corners of her mouth and dripping down her long, pale neck, leeching into the collar of her green t-shirt. The Doctor could smell his pheromones as well, a sharper, slightly darker scent.

The Doctor swallowed, feeling his cock twitch in his trousers. Alright… maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to tell them. They probably wouldn't appreciate the fact that he had accidentally dosed them with an aphrodisiac so strong that it was outlawed in the fifty fifth century on the grounds of "nobody is getting anything done". Well, Amy and Rory were newlyweds. They would probably go slink off to an empty room and have a good shag, and the Doctor would go fiddle with the TARDIS or go swimming or wank. Amy and Rory would attribute it to one of the side affects of being a newly married couple, or possibly a late adrenaline induced burst of hormones, and the Doctor would remember to label his fungi jars better. All would be well in the world.

The Doctor was nibbling on his own omelet as he watched the two of them try to ignore the arousal, mentally counting down until the first excuse came along. It would probably be Amy, because she wasn't the type of girl to just sit there as her knickers got sticky. He wondered, idly, how Rory would excuse the bulge in his trousers; it would be funny, at any rate, and the Doctor could always go for a good laugh.

He could hear their breathing speed up. Hell, if he concentrated, he could hear their hearts beat faster. He could smell their pheromones, as well as their sweat, see the way Amy was squirming in her seat and the tight hold Rory had on his fork. He was about to get up and make some flimsy excuse to give the two a chance to escape, but before he had a chance to do anything, Amy stood up.

"Rory…." She looked over at her husband and smiled, her eyes slightly glassy. "D'you remember that thing we talked about?"

"Which thing we talked about?" He was waggling the fork between two nervous fingers like a pencil, his eyes on his empty plate.

"When those giraffe lizard things were tying us up to put us in the cooking pot?" Amy was twirling her hair around her finger, pouting. She always pouted when she knew she was going to get her way.

"Oh. That thing." Rory swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Well, yes, that's fine, as long as it's… as long as it's like we discussed."

"Of course," Amy said, and turned back to the Doctor. She was smiling a predatory smile as she moved closer to him, pheromones wafting off of her like so much perfume.

"Um… am I going to get clued in as to what's going on?" The Doctor stood up, not wanting to be sitting as Amy slunk towards him like some kind of wildcat. Best to keep the slight height advantage, right?

Amy didn't answer. She smiled at him, and it was like her bedroom all over again. She was pressed tightly to him, her nipples poking him even through the layers of their clothing. Her mouth was against his, her hands knotting in his hair and her mouth working against his. She tasted good, so good - he'd always had a fetish for human women - and he was almost tempted to kiss her back, but Rory was sitting right there, and Rory really wouldn't like Amy kissing the Doctor. He was probably only silent from shock.

The Doctor grabbed Amy by the shoulders, pushing her away from him and holding her at arms length. "No, see, this can't be happening. What are you doing? Why aren't you doing it with Rory?" He shot a glance over at Rory, but Rory wasn't sitting in his seat.

Rory was behind Amy. His hands were resting on Amy's belly, his chin on her shoulder. The Doctor wasn't sure how he'd missed Rory getting up - Rory was leaking pheromones as much as Amy was, and with the both of them so close to him, it was becoming hard to think of anything but kissing Amy again, kissing Rory, losing himself in the heady combination of them.

"What… was this you were talking about?" The Doctor tried to keep his voice from shaking too much. He shivered as Rory moved his hands from Amy's belly to his own hands, squeezing the fingers so that the Doctor was squeezing Amy's shoulders.

"Which one of us would fuck you first," Amy said, wriggling against Rory, no doubt feeling his erection against her arse.

"What?" The Doctor gaped at the both of them, clearly shocked. Alright, so he often smelled arousal from both of them, but they were newlyweds, and what were newlyweds, if not ever randy? But to think that he was the cause of it…. He shifted, pressing his thighs together rather hopelessly. It was a lost cause, trying to suppress the arousal, but he could at least try to save some face.

"Well, Rory figured that it was only fair that he get to be the first one to shag you since I was the first one to kiss you, but we eventually agreed to a compromise," Amy said, then whimpered as Rory's hand made its way between her breasts, pressing down on the clasp of her bra. The other hand stayed on her shoulder. She whimpered, wriggling slightly at the feel of him against her oversensitive skin.

"That compromise being…?" He shouldn't have been humoring them, but…. Rory was up for it. Rory was staring at him with those big green puppy dog eyes, the green nearly completely blotted out by his dilated pupils, and the Doctor might not have been affected by the mushrooms, but he was getting bombarded by human sex hormones and he wouldn't be able to keep himself in check much longer.

"We'd _both_ fuck you," Rory said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He cupped Amy's right breast, kneading it. "Although I'd rather seen it as being slightly less… in the kitchen." He nuzzled the side of Amy's neck, thumbing her nipple. "Not that this isn't fun, but it feels a bit… off."

Ah, Rory. Thoughtful, articulate, careful Rory. The Doctor thanked himself for taking Rory along with him - they needed a steady head. "Well… I might have accidentally given you two one of the… stronger aphrodisiacs."

Rory raised an eyebrow, then moaned as Amy ground against him, clearly trying to think clearly through the fog of arousal. The fact that he could think at all while Amy ground against him was proof of just how self control he'd learned in his time as the Centurion. "How do you "accidentally" give someone an aphrodisiac? How long do they last?"

"Well, um, judging by the amount of mushrooms you two have eaten… maybe… two days?" The Doctor looked at them nervously. "But the good news is, the mushrooms render humans temporarily sterile, so you don't have to worry about pregnancy, and I can make… myself… scarce…." He trailed off at Amy's expression.

"You're not going anywhere, Raggedy Man," she said, and her voice was rather dangerously close to a growl. "You owe Rory and me an apology."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said, echoing his older self. He tried to draw his hands off of Amy's shoulders, but Rory let go of Amy's breast and laced their fingers together, squeezing them.

"Not gonna cut it," Amy said, grinning mischievously. "You're gonna have to fix the mess you made." She kissed Rory over her shoulder, her neck craned at a slightly awkward angle. The Doctor watched, transfixed, at the way the two of them kissed, their mouths working together. He could smell their scents mingling, and his cock twitched again, getting harder as he watched them pull apart, mussed and swollen lipped. Amy's breasts were heaving, so inviting under her thin green shirt, and were it not for the fact that Rory was holding his hands, he might have been reaching forward to feel her breasts.

"I think he likes the idea," Rory said, grinning slightly at the Doctor's slack expression. He shifted against Amy, hips pushing restlessly against her. "So Doctor, you goin' to make it up to us?"

"How'm I going to make it up?" He was panting now, openly panting.

"Well…." Amy took a step closer, Rory still plastered to her back. "You ought to put that smart mouth of yours t'good use, I think…." She licked her lips slowly, looking him up and down. She put a hand on his shoulder, her other hand going to the back of his head. She leaned forward and kissed him, and this time, the Doctor let her. He let her guide the two of them back towards the table, let Rory come up behind him.

Rory bit the back of the Doctor's neck, his mouth hot and his blunt teeth bruising the Doctor, making him moan and arch his back. He could feel Rory's erection against his arse, hot and throbbing, beating with the weird, singular pulse that he would never get used to, no matter how long he was with humans. He could feel his knees going weak as Rory nibbled and licked from the collar of his shirt to the spot where his hair started, Rory's hands on his hips.

The Doctor almost (almost!) wished that Amy would stop kissing him for a moment so that he could concentrate on the feel of Rory's mouth marking his neck up, but Amy was busy pushing his jacket off of his shoulders, fumbling with his shirt even as she kissed him. It was Rory who pushed the braces off, Amy who untied the bowtie and pulled the shirt off of the Doctor's shoulders. When they finally broke their kiss, the Doctor was glassy eyed and panting. When Rory grabbed the hair on the back of his head and pulled him back, he let himself be dragged, almost eagerly.

Rory was a good kisser. Maybe he'd learned it from Amy, or maybe Amy learned it from Amy, but regardless, the Doctor liked kissing Rory. It was different from kissing Amy, of course - Rory's mouth tasted different, felt different. Rory's stubble scraped across his cheek, Rory's nose was cold against his cheek, and Rory's fingers were longer and thicker than Amy's as they traced out unknown words on his chest. Of course, Amy's mouth wasn't anything to complain about as it moved up and down the Doctor's neck, nipping and bruising, the heat of it making the Doctor squirm and gasp. At the rate he was going, he wasn't entirely sure he'd even be able to keep from coming at the first go.

"So Doctor," Amy panted, pressing her forehead against his, "how d'you feel about showing off your skills at language, eh?"

Rory groaned against the Doctor's shoulder and glared at Amy. "I cannot believe you made _that_ joke," he said, splaying both of his big hands across the Doctor's chest, one hand over each heartbeat.

"You said I couldn't ever tell _you_ that joke, remember?" Amy grinned at him, because even in a heightened state of arousal, she was Amy Pond. "The Doctor isn't you."

The Doctor snorted, letting himself be pushed onto his knees. He looked up at Amy through his fringe and smiled at her, his hands going to her legs, his fingers stroking her calves. The way he was positioned had his head level with her waistband, and her pheromones, enhanced by the aphrodisiac, were practically overpowering. He wanted to stick his face between her legs and inhale, although he had a feeling if he did that he'd end up cumming in his trousers and that wouldn't exactly be appreciated.

Amy's fingers worked into his hair, stroking his scalp, as he pressed his cheek against her belly. He nuzzled it and kissed under her navel, relishing her scent, and grinned against her when she squirmed under his mouth. She arched her back, gaping her legs open, and grinned down at him. "Y'gonna get workin' big boy? You've made an awfully big mess…."

Rory groaned and rolled his eyes. "Amy…." He was fumbling with the Doctor's trousers, trying to slide his hand down the front. "Could you not use the same lines you used when you were working that phone sex line?" He had given up on trying to reach into the Doctor's pants and just grabbed his erection through his trousers, grinning at the way the Doctor bucked.

"Shush," Amy said, and stuck her tongue out at Rory. She squeaked when the Doctor stuck his head under her skirt, squirming as he nuzzled the soft skin of her thigh. She was shaking already, her whole body shivering so hard that her knees were about to give. "Hold on a moment," she mumbled, and sat down slowly, kicking her slippers off and gaping her knees wide open as much as her short skirt would allow. Of course, this meant that he had to take his head out of her skirt, but he would be back under it soon enough.

The Doctor shifted, until he was lying flat on his belly, forcing Rory to move with him or let go. He let go, and the Doctor missed his warmth. He heard rustling behind him, but he was more concerned with the sight of Amy wriggling under him, pulling her shirt off and unclipping her bra. She winced, no doubt at the coldness of the floor, but she smiled at the Doctor's slightly slack jawed expression and the feel of his warm hand on her slightly cooler breast, the way her hard nipple pressed against his palm.

"Where you goin', Rory?" Amy looked at her husband between her breasts and across the Doctor's back, propping herself up on her elbows.

"I'm not shagging him without some kind of lube," Rory said, rummaging around the cabinets.

"And you're expecting to find lube in the kitchen?" Amy hissed and shivered as the Doctor tugged on her nipple, her toes curling against the lino.

"An acceptable substitute, maybe," Rory said, then, "Aha!" He held up a bottle of something like a character in one of Jeff's video games, and Amy snorted.

The Doctor nuzzled between Amy's breasts, mouthing the side of her left one. His fingers were busy, tweaking and teasing her nipples, making her arch and squirm. When she started to shudder and groan under him, he went still, transfixed at the way her face contorted and her hips jerked. The aphrodisiac made her that much more sensitive, apparently. He wasn't complaining. Amy Pond looked gorgeous as she came.

"What, already?" Rory was smirking even as he knelt down behind the Doctor and reached around him, fingering the button of his wool trousers.

"Lets see you do better," Amy mumbled, her covering her eyes with one arm. She squeaked when the Doctor shimmied up her body, snuffling at her underarm, giggling. "What the hell are you doin', ya bloody alien?" She ruffled his hair with her other hand.

"Pheromones," he mumbled, and moved to nuzzle under her neck. "They smell… nice." His cock was heavy in his pants, throbbing and so hard that could have dented the floor.

"If you say so," Amy said, and pushed gently on his shoulders. "Now help my husband get you naked."

"Bossy," Rory scolded, finally getting the Doctor's pants unbuttoned. He yanked the zipper down and reached inside, pulling the Doctor upright with an arm across his chest. He pressed kisses along the Doctor's neck, tasting each of the marks that Amy had left. He moved his hand down, palming the Doctor's cock, smirking at the way the Doctor squirmed and grinding his own denim covered erection against his arse.

"I want to see it," Amy mumbled, sitting up enough to watch Rory's hand on the Doctor's cock. "Oh, that's a pretty thing," she said, wrapping her hand around Rory's and squeezing.

The Doctor gasped, bucking against their hands. He was outnumbered, overpowered, and loving every moment of it. He'd have to remember to mislabel the fungi more often. It was a good thing this batch was slightly stale, though, otherwise they'd probably have torn his clothes off. Apparently the time made some of the potency wear off. Still… this was pretty potent.

"If I remember correctly…," Rory nipped the Doctor's ear, tracing the shell with his tongue, "you were going to lick my wife to orgasm." He thumbed the head of the Doctor's head, pre-cum smearing across his fingers. "I'd suggest you get to it. Amy can get cranky, when she doesn't get what she wants." He nipped the Doctor again, no doubt adding another bruise to the Doctor's already marked up neck.

Amy was wet, so wet, soaking through the black piece of lace she deigned to call knickers and through her skirt, probably leaving a wet spot on the linoleum. She smelled so _good_ , so sweet and thick and sticky and human, and he buried his face in it, his nose almost pressing into her as he took long, deep breaths.

Rory watched, smiling slightly, his cock a throbbing iron bar in his jeans. He'd tend to it in a minute - he wanted to watch the Doctor bring Amy over again using only his lips and his tongue. It didn't take long - as sensitive as her skin was, both of their skin, it was frankly amazing she'd only cum once. The Doctor was watching her as well, smiling in a way that might have been called smug if the Doctor was a lesser man.

Amy wailed this time, throwing her head back with a "clunk", her fingers twining in her own hair to yank and pull at it as her whole body shook. When she opened her eyes, she smiled somewhat nervously at the two boys, her two boys. "It's a start," she said, as airily as a woman with her hair in a mess and her thighs a sticky mess of arousal could.

"Amelia Pond, are you challenging me?" The Doctor grinned wickedly, sliding her knickers down. It took a bit of maneuvering to get them off, and she nearly kicked him in the face, but eventually she was bare below the waist, her skirt pushed up around her middle.

"And what if I am?" Amy untangled her fingers from her hair, brushing the Doctor's out of his face instead. She watched with interest as Rory fiddled with the Doctor's trousers and boxers, pulling them down his skinny hips.

"Well, you know I can never resist a challenge," the Doctor said, getting off of his knees and lying on his belly, his hands going to Amy's hips.

"I know," Amy said lazily, gaping her legs open. "Why d'you think I said it?"

"Cheeky," the Doctor said, squirming between her legs until he was breathing on her cunt. Of course, he was rather… distracted. He wasn't expecting an oily finger to slide into his arse, and his yelp made Amy shudder as the vibrations traveled up her spine, her heels beating a tattoo out on the linoleum.

The Doctor hissed, pulling back and taking deep, gulping breaths. It had been a while since the last time he did this, and it took a bit of getting used to.

Amy looked down at him between her breasts, blinking in an attempt to clear her head. "Why did you stop?"

"Your husband has his finger up my arse," the Doctor said, relishing the crudity of the word, although a particularly vicious twist of Rory's finger made him gasp and buck. "I rather think that gives me the right to pause."

"It isn't in your mouth," Rory said, sliding another finger into the Doctor and scissoring them.

The Doctor rolled his eyes good naturedly and went back to licking Amy, wincing at the way her fingernails bit into his shoulders. He'd be marked up but good by the time the aphrodisiac wore off. He laved at Amy's clit as Rory added another finger, his back arching. He transferred his moans along her clit, and the vibrations sent her skittering along another orgasm with a not very dignified yelp, her heels hitting the floor hard enough to bruise, getting the Doctor on the leg at least once.

Rory pulled his fingers out of the Doctor, and even as the Doctor mourned the loss of the fullness, Rory was pushing his cock into him, thick and blunt and filling him. Rory's hands were on the Doctor's hips, three fingers slip-sliding with oil, holding on so tightly he was leaving bruises. He draped himself across the Doctor's back, biting the lovely pale skin and beginning to roll his hips.

The Doctor sputtered a curse against Amy, arching his back and forcing Rory further into him. He was muttering swear words into Amy's cunt, in languages that were dead as dust and languages that hadn't been born yet, sending her into another orgasm. It was wonderful, how sensitive the mushrooms made her. He was almost tempted to see what she was like when he couldn't bring her to orgasm with just a flicker of his tongue - but he'd worry about that another time.

Of course, Rory had consumed the very same aphrodisiac, and after several thrusts (not nearly enough, in the Doctor's opinion), he was cumming, scalding hot and thick. He groaned against Amy, his own erection still sandwiched between his belly and the floor, and squirmed.

"What, already?" Amy was smirking, although it was hard to look smug when her hair was sticking to her forehead and her face was flushed redder than her hair.

The Doctor sat up, his chin and his nose sticky. "Might I make a request?" He gestured vaguely between his legs, trying his best to look pitiful - it had always worked on Martha. "Would either of you be so kind as to…." It was funny - even after all that they'd been up to, he was still vaguely embarrassed to say it.

"What, fuck you? Rory just did." Amy let go of the Doctor's shoulders, no doubt admiring the claw marks she'd left there. She reached forward, interlacing her fingers with Rory's and squeezing them. The aphrodisiac was still making their blood sing in their veins, but for a moment, each of their bodies were a bit too worn out.

"You know what I mean!" The Doctor made a happy noise as Rory's big hand ruffled his hair, pushing his fringe out of his face.

"How long did he say the aphrodisiac lasted?" Amy met her husband's eyes, grinning.

"Two days, I believe," Rory said, absently wetting his fingers with the cum dripping out of the Doctor's arse and writing something with it on the Doctor's back.

"So we're going to be desperately horny for two days?" Amy took a handful of the Doctor's hair and tugged. "Well… since it doesn't seem to affect you, I would say it's only fair that you should be in a similar state. Don't you think, Rory?"

"Oh, definitely," Rory said, wickedness in his voice. He stood up slowly, wincing as his knees protested his kneeling on the hard linoleum. "Although I think we should find a bedroom. With proper lube."

Amy giggled, standing up slowly, using the table next to her for support. Her thighs were sticky, and she was still wet. "Y'mean you don't like your willie smelling like somethin' out of an Italian restaurant?"

Rory rolled his eyes, offering the Doctor a hand up. "Are you coming with us, or you want us to leave you alone?" It would be Rory who said that - he was the careful one, the thoughtful one, putting fires out in Amy's wake. "You don't have to."

"No… no, I'd like to," the Doctor said, rubbing the back of his head. This was… awkward.

"If he wants to, he'd better get a move on," Amy yelled from the corridor, still naked but for her skirt.

"Point taken," Rory said, and grabbed the Doctor's hand, towing him along.

The Doctor let himself be towed, trying not to trip. Once all of this messiness was over and done with, he was going through his mushroom collection. Next time might not be so… lucky. He caught sight of Amy posing dramatically in the doorway, felt Rory's cum trickle down the back of his leg, and grinned delightedly. No, he didn't think he'd get this lucky again.


End file.
